Parenting Comparison American & Indian Style
Counselling on parenting is done in India but not on a large
scale or I can say not much importance is given to this in our society. Whereas
in the US, parents attend classes together to learn how to deal with labour &
help the wife during delivery, diapers. New parents can find out the sex of
their unborn child if they want and can make preparations accordingly. Soon-to-be
parents in India cannot find out the sex of their unborn child due to
prevailing laws that have been put in place because of a preference for male
children. Preparing for the new baby is usually a stream of advice which flows
in from relatives and friends.
The Indian parenting style is more organic there may be
loose schedules which operate more like guidelines but the children will be put
down for a nap if they are sleepy and not at the same fixed time daily. Raising
a child in India is usually a family affair with grandparents, aunts and uncles
all involved whereas in the US, it is mostly just the parents with occasionally
a nanny or baby sitter thrown in if the occasion demands. The family versus the
individual is a major cultural difference between the two and it comes into
play in parenting as well.
Milestones
or Routine:
Sleeping With/Without Parents: In the US, the norm is to do up the nursery
and have the baby sleep separately in its own room from birth. A lot of effort
goes into choosing the interior décor for the nursery depending on whether it
is a boy or a girl. Kids are expected to stay in their rooms from birth. In India, it is almost unthinkable for parents to leave
their baby alone in a separate room for the entire night. The baby stays firmly
tucked between the parents when they sleep at night. At most they may place a
crib for the baby by their bedside. However, now with more global
exposure to western ways of life, Indian parents who are more affluent and have
space in their homes are also going the ‘nursery’ way.
Have the child eat on its own: Ask any Indian parent about feeding time and you will
invariably be met with groans. It is almost always a chore getting kids to eat.
Stories are made up, songs are sung, toys and distractions are brought in and
often there is scolding and cajoling all in an effort to feed the child. In
the US, kids are plonked on the high chair and left to feed them. Yes, it is
messy at first, but soon children get the hang of it and become efficient at
eating.
Emphasis on sport:
A lot of emphasis is given to sport right from when children are small. From
the time children can start toddling around, organised activities are a big
part of their lives. From swimming to baseball and football, sport
is considered an important part of the kid’s life and parents spend a lot
of time driving their kids to various sporting and extracurricular activities.
Sport is yet to take that kind of a central role in India. Only cricket is
the most favoured sport in India all other sports are treated like it’s not fit
for the child. Growing Girl children’s are under privileged they can’t play at
all most of the times.
Schedules: In
the US, it is believed that scheduling kids is critical for smooth parenting.
Children have to be fed at the same time every day, put down for nap at the
same time and bed times are to be strictly maintained. It is believed that
enforcing these schedules set predictable patterns in children. Even the bed time is structured like reading a bed time
story or other books. It ensures the child get sufficient sleeping hours and
keeps them active & healthy. This isn’t a standard practice across all Indian households
but on an average the children stay up as late as the parents & do not
follow any set schedules.
Benefits of Following Schedules:
·
The children are disciplined.
·
They get enough sleep time which
keeps them active & healthy.
·
Increases the time management skills
& makes them used to new changes.
·
They develop a healthy lifestyle.
Independence: There is a lot of
emphasis on kids being independent in the US. Early on, children are
coached to eat, sleep, and wear their clothes independently. Once they grow up
a little, they are expected to do chores around the house according to their
age and ability. Children are expected to progressively get more and more
independent until they move out of the house at about 18 years of age. In the
summer vacations, older kids are expected to make some pocket money doing odd
jobs around the neighborhood or get small jobs at the malls to make money for
their personal spending. If kids stay beyond adulthood in the parents’ house
they are also expected to pitch in with home expenses or even a portion of
the rent. Indian parents will look after even
the tiniest needs of their children, often till their children are fully grown
adults and have children of their own. In fact, they pride themselves in how
devoted parents they are. As we all know, Indian parents would not dream
of charging kids for staying with them, however, the payback is in other forms.
Good one
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